freedom of pictures...

Friday, July 07, 2006

The ~Day ~I~ Called ~My~ Mom

Last Sunday i called my mom in Cambodia, she told me that my friend, Sok Ngim, wanted to see me in Webcam from Srok Khmer. She wanted to see how i look like. I told my mom to give her my sister cell phone number so that we could know her e-mail. Now let find out next if we could connect each other. Hopefully i could know her e-mail soon~~~

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Why....? What was heppening?

These few days we seemed not get along well, we seemed stay in different world of living even life. We had different ideas, opinions, the way of thinking, and much more. Why god made us different? Why god mad between rich and poor? Why god made moon and sun? Why god made everything not even equally? Why god made lot of different countries? Why god made us speaking different languages? Why god made people feel mad, hungry, cry, sad, miserable, happy, sick, and even how people look?? why and why? Bong Srey said that she might quit from chatting in yahoo because she wanted to stay out of troubles. so what should i do? so who made this happen? who was the big deal in this problem? i didn't understand why ?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

July 4th

Tonight is 4th of July, in the United States people celebrate the day of independent. We're all excited, some people go to see fireworks in the park, and others stay home and watching TV. But tonight i stay home and talk with Bong Srey and Ming. I don't want to go anywhere beside home.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Days of My Life

Everything seems to go so pretty fast like the wind flying around and never see by eyes...however the only things we know is that by somthing moves, or object vibrates...but if we think about our activities every day life, we know that things always change and never back to normal...have you ever thought as what am i trying to say?,maybe you used to think before right?

On 04/07/06...I went to class as usual everyday, after my teacher explained about the homework from last night, he went to sit in the front of his desk...and said that he has to go to hospital next week for surgery, and then someone came up with an idea, why?...Do you have a cancer? he smiled and said, " Yes". Some of my classmates laughed and some of them felt bad about him....as well as me felt sad about him. Someone said and smiled at him that you're gonna be bold head, no hair Mr....i don't like the way she said like that, but he seemed not afraid of that disease at all, he told the class that he just found out about these couple months, he also told the class that he already found a teacher to teach for him instead of the time he's not here in class, Mrs....something...(can't tell), he thought that somebody who had problems with him and have a new teacher will have good grade, better than while with him, and he also hope to hear from us about the grade and behavior. See even though he has to go to hospital for surgery but he still think about his class, is it that great idea from him ? can you guys believe that ? but anyway i still felt bad about him, that disease is not suppose to happen to him at all ! why the future lead him to have that disease ? i hope and wishfully that after he leaves from hospital, he will be good and has no that terrible disease at all in his body. I wish every good thing for him again and again...so on and so on forever.... :)


This week I didn't know any news about my teacher yet, but I hoped he was doing ok! ...guess what my new teacher was good, she was kind and nice...You know?...she told my friend and I to get the things, I guessed maybe,"Her Test Papers", but they were not, they were the cup cakes she made for students before we have a vacation next week. O..humm..yummy!.. :) if you have a chance to test it, really good!, Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, today is " Cambodian New Year", we are celebrated it for 3 days. But unfortunately, I was not staying in Cambodia anymore, so I didn't have much fun in here. Hey, in history class I had to take the test about World War II, so I had to write about it...umm..they seemed a little hard for me but I tried to do the best I could. I hoped that i will get a good grade for this term. Some of my classmates didn't do it because they didn't care, but for me I really did care about it that why I went to school everyday!...lolz. I also got an application from HERO PROGRAM, for students to intend to go to the college for 4 years, but I didn't hope that I could get myself there because of life's condition....nothing to say more...see ya


Tonight nothing seemed to be special for me, I just felt that i wanted to keep writing in my space, um....what else do I have to write about ?...any ideas ? ...I didn't talk with my friends along time because they were really busy with their duties, study!, or job I guess, so did I. Yang was busy almost everyday, Ple never showed up, was busy I thought, Shulya never told what was wrong, or what was going on in Russia, and others almost the same.

04/19/06 (midnight)

...tonight i didn't sleep yet cuz i wanted to carry on my blog, hey Shadow Of Diary guess what ?..for this week i made another spaces for u to look around for fun as well as to remember who you care about and how to keep it on before it loses the worth u want the most. But don't ask me what are you trying to say? oh i don't get it ? In fact,i will not be able to explain the mysterious of my mind...but if you want to say that you love someone, don't be afraid or scare, just neglect or ignore the results...but you should remember this quote from my friend, Yang, China." If she/he is your true love, you will meet each other even though you are far apart. If not true love, even you are stand beside each other, you will never know her/him". Old saying from China brought by Yang, I think i believe it too, Yang!

Oh ok, my dear friends...it's time for me to sleep now...almost 3:30 am in the morning now...goodnight...see ya.


Today I woke up early in the morning, my sister and I went to our aunt's house because she wanted to ask her about applying for jobs, and then we went to career center, she got an application and after that we went to apply for a job at Chalton Hospital, but unluckily, we didn't get the job yet cause they only have the jobs for right now...but our points were to get the job for summer. But anyway, just forget it. I anticipated to look forward for somethin interesting to write in my blog...oh hey....you know?, many people from the outside...thought that people who live in here is great or wonderful..they believed that everything is good...(optimism), but if you come here you will know and feel it by yourself...here is good...good...good..good..good for educated person not for old people because if you are old and didn't speak their language, you have to work really hard and end up in the factory for the rest of your live, that suck!, which meant I was not a swearer person...but what you want me to say...beside that word ?....see ya


hey...why time goes so quick? just open eyes and now it's time to close eyes again..day by day...past by like we turn on and off the TV without using the remote....it works atomatically.


Shadow...you was the only place that I could keep and also a mirror to show back and forth...of what I was thinkin. I had only a few days less for break times from school vocation..and on Monday I had to go to school everyday so I didn't have any available time to write in blog nor talked with friends... :( and the person I really wanted to talk with ...........seemed to lose the contact thousand and thousand times a way from me like between paradise and hell, could not shout nor call nor visit over there...even though I absolutely tried so hard....e-mails and messeges.....nothin work...(silence)........however, I remembered one sentence from her," Do you want to meet me?" I said, "Yes"," but I have no way to go there yet"." We will meet each other one day", she said. Oh, moreover, I also remembered the last moment I ever talked with her...after I came home from school about 3: 10 pm i got online and hoped to meet her there..and then guess what she was waiting for me...and i asked her," Hi, how r u doing today?..... Did u finish ur homework yet?, I did only a half of it and other half I will do it tomorrow"...she said. After that I said I also had alot of homeworks to do too...so ok, keep doing ur homework and i am doing my homework too....oh i asked her, what time is it over there?, she said,"Midnight", oh, wow...and I said, oh, you should go to sleep,......she said no..not yet.... and sometimes I said that, why r u so quiet?, r u sleeping in front of ur computer? she said," NO, If I want to sleep, I will go to sleep,...and then my sister came up to me and said that she wanted to use the computer to write somethin about her project for tomorrow...I said to her NO, I was talking with my friend, and she wanted to talk with me also, but god would not help me...so she used to the computer...before she used it, I told my friend that ..sorry i had to go now cuz....like this ..then she said ok!, but before she offlined, I told her...if you get online, don't forget to sign in msn ok?, she said,Yes, I will not forget it, I always sign in, then she offlined.....this was really sad for me as well as her..i guessed :( Then, another day passed by untill weekend..i didn't see her online anymore...but I didn't think she never gonna talking with me...I only thought that, oh maybe she was busy that's why she could not onlined today...however, the thing started to change not like as usual, she never came and talked again..and again from one week to other week...so my mind also started to feel miserable...and sometimes i could not sleep, i always thought about her...imagined that what was she doing right now? what was going on? did she had any problem about computer?...I didn't know why nor one could tell or foresee about her for me...furthermore, the only thing I could do was to note everything i had leave from her in my lonely blog.........see ya


Today i didn't do anything in my blog yet, I actually slep all day time. But when i woke up I just felt that I really miss....oh my budhhist, who ever felt this way like me ? what did I do ? and also tomorrow is Sunday ? and other day next coming is Monday....oOpt school again...Yang told me last night that she gonna has school vocation meantime i have to go back...and now it's time to down side up...rub feeling of heart to get more in deeply great pain in the vase world of diary... see ya


This week i was so so pretty tired, i almost slept by standing or closing my eyes just only a few seconds away. I was wondering myself why i needed serious sleeping between 5:30 p.m. to 6:45 p.m. i so wanted to go to bed, was i working too much ?, after my dad got a second hand four wheels drive white car TOYOTA, my life seemed to go to another step of difficult times because my sister and i had to work quiete hard than before. We woke up at 6:30 am in the morning to go to school and we left school at 2:30 p.m. After we came back home from school, we hurried preparing foods and eating something before we went to work. You know? at school we had to finish the homeworks first !, but i only had a chance to do them but i didn't have times to review my lessons, so i felt that i seemed not understand much about geometry class as well as others. I got home almost at 1:00 a.m midnight but i didn't sleep yet, i had to eat first because if i didn't eat, i would be exhuasted,and could not get up early in the next morning, so i did. You know ? I sometimes thought that was i right or wrong that i chose to come here (usa), i live here but not including all my family, my mom lives in Cambodia, she lives there alone cus she wanted us to have the future, she decided to let us go first and then get her later when we can. I miss/love my mom so so so much much, i could not even find anything to compare or explain. Most people usually said that " NO PLACE LIKE HOME ", that's totally true ! and now i am homesick as well as sick...i am really sick like a dog... :(

05 ?/02 ? /06 ? wow, the time goes too fast ? slow down !

Tonight i was waiting to talk with Yang...but guess what ?, she was not here again, when she gonna has free times ? Ple was rarely online and she told me last time i met her, she was so stress, she didn't know what to do in her life now, i felt bad about her, i wished she was doing ok, i wanted to help her but i could not cause it was so so so far away even though i never saw her real face in the real world. I never saw PLE had the problems like this before which was my first time. But I was so happy to talk with her at that time :) . And AISHA (Shulya) seemed totally lost contact with me now even though i tried to e-mail her but she never replied me back i really bored in my life, imagine what was she doing in Russia right now ?, was she sleeping ?, what was she doing ? come on, tell me? plz. Don't let me feet miserable no more ? I could not stand with that :o Will you come and talk with me one day ? Won't you ? I always lied to myself maybe she was busy...don't worry..she will come...maybe tomorrow..maybe next Friday, maybe next week or maybe soon...sadly hopeless :(


It's 11:40 p.m. now..umm..i still remembered what was going on yeterday, i went to work there, i worked with .., but the job i did, it supposed to help each other but he didn't help, he was just doing it kind like slow, looked at somewhere, didn't hurry to do, and he sometimes said somethin to make us laughed, but i didn't feel laugh at all cus i was so tired, i just came back from school and then went to work. Oh i had a man to help me fortunately, he was a nice person, he always helped me when i was trying to do my job. I could not forget that, and sometimes some pour dropped of water was falling on my jacket from a tube of somethin on the top with the sound of machines roared so noisy while i looked at the outside it was kind like drazzling mixed with the cold weather reminded me how life was so tough...what would happen if i didn't have an opportunity to go to college ? would i end up in some factories around here?, what would happend after that?

05/16/06 ( not in ordered events_sorry)

Last week, on Monday my teacher just got back from surgery, he seemed doing pretty good, my friends and i are super glad that he was alright. Sorry mom, we were really sorry that we didn't call you on Happy Mother's Day ! we hope you was doing alright over there. :)We almost missed the school bus today, we got up at 6:46 a.m. in the morning and school supposed to start at 7:45 a.m. You know?, we were really difficult to get up because we went to work and when we got home, i had to read my history book so i went to bed at 2:01 a.m. almost in the morning now. I almost fall asleep in the class if i closed my eyes just one second long. Even though, i started to get confuse about the lessons now, really didn't know what to do sometimes. Oh..i didn't think i passed my health's test yesterday cuz my teacher always explained by mouth alot than let the students write the notes even my friend, Mohamet, he didn't finish the test either. I told him that the teacher thought we're like American students in this school but we're absolutely not, we're just only the biligual students who try so hard to be successful person in here. I still remembered my friend said to me in the cafeteria last week that " Here The Future ", we were smiled. I said, " Yes ", here the future, here the future... (i repeated),i thought here would be my future. i still got mad right now cuz someone i didn't know from the school bus hit me right on the top of my head while i was completely no clue at all walking along the pave of school's property. i got really freakin mad ..mad ..and mad even i did nothin for that. And i remained hurt on the top of my head.....


I will have an assignment in history class tomorrow. My teacher just taught by reading so quick and i tried to catch up it even though we watched the movie in the class, " The 60 " , and i had no ideas to describe about it cuz there were many events in that such as, The Death Of A President, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, requested the right for black people, Cold War, between The United States and Soviet Union about nuclear weapon, and other strikes, between people and the police. You knew that diary?..i really didn't have time for myself in the weekend now..i did this, i did that, busy events always pushed me forward, they won't let me stop nor breathe, my body seemed to be thin and skinny, and i felt so ashamed about myself and others. I wished i would gain more weights right now...many people always said that i was so skinny. I tried to eat alot but busy events alot too so what would i do?


I was pretty so sorry " Diary" about this month, i felt that i didn't want to sign in hotmail messenger nor did anything in my blog because i was so tired and busy. This world sometimes seemed to be bored to me. I will go to field trip at Umass Dartmoth on June 08, 2006 about International Students Leadership Institute. Oh, I went to my aunt's house because it was my niece's birthday, we all got busy in there, went to get these things or those things...my cousin celebrated her daughter's birth at home first and then at the church about 5:59 p.m untill 10:00 p.m at night. She also had music, she danced with her friends from middle school, i just helped out about some stuffs, sat down and watched them have fun with each other. I looked terrible at that time cuz i didn't dress up any nice clothes and then i left that party and went back at 10: something p.m to clean up the rest of the party. They were really happy about that...


On June 8, 2006 we went to the field trip at UMass Dartmouth University,Massachusetts. It was about the 22nd annual International Student Leadership Institute (I.S.L.I). We were participating in the I.S.L.I. a rewarding experience. The philosophy of the program was to develop leadership skills and techniques through the emphasis on developing self-confidence, awareness, the ability to support, a methodology of being in thinking and living, and an appreciation of the greatest value of personhood, which is self. We were glad that we had an important opportunity to meet and be with high school and college students from various sectors of Massachusetts and Rhode Island. We began our session at 9:00 a.m. with a formal welcome. Below was a schedule of activities for the day

*8:30 a.m.-9:00 a.m. .......Registration, UMass Dartmouth "Commuter Cafeteria South


*9:00 a.m.-9:15 a.m. .......Introduction to I.S.L.I. philosophy and formation of groups

*9:15 a.m.-10:00 a.m. .....Support

*10:00 a.m.-11:15 a.m. ...Awareness

*11:15 a.m.-12:00 noon ...Begin Self Confidence (Association)

*12:00 noon - 12:30 p.m. Lunch, UMass Dartmouth "Commuter Cafeteria South Alcove"

*12:45 p.m. - 1:35 p.m. ...Complete Self-Confidence (Moon List & Professions Task)

*1:35 p.m. - 2:30 p.m. .....Positive Thinking

*2:30 p.m. - 3:20 p.m. .....Values

*3:20 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. .....Red & Black, Summary, Evaluation, and Certificates

But however, all of these things had nothing more than Self- Confidence, we just discussed it as a small group about 10 or 11 people all day long, it was so bored to me. Why they talked too much about that ! you know? they even played a game in the whole class but i had no ideas nor how to play it...believed me nothin as what u thought that it was interesting.


Nothing to write about !


My sister and i went to school yesterday to participate in our ATTENDANCE INCENTIVE LOTTERY. There were many students in the Luke Urban Field House to identify the winners of the three prizes: an I-Pod, a laptop computer, and a Honda Civic automobile..but when they did it...they just picked only 50 students first, and then the left was nothin to do with..just sat down and look. It was not faith at all....the teacher picked it just on the top, she didn't move her hand around like left or right..or untill the buttom of the basket. If they have that again, we promised not to come because it wasted our times, sleeping, and gasoline....that was crazy.


I had a dream last night about myself, somehow like i was really really skinny and didn't have any energy to do anything. I was really afraid of being sick. And I also thought about how to improve my msn space. I got an idea. Let's me try it first if it works.

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My sister, i took it when we went to high school in here first time. We both tried to study so hard. We sacrified alot of times to make life in here become better with joy, sad, miserable, cry, happy, and even our energies.